


What Can't Be Said

by PixieRed



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Extreme Pining, F/M, New Game, Pining, ShuMako Week 2020, shumako
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22242205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixieRed/pseuds/PixieRed
Summary: Ren finds himself back at the beginning, the initial encounter that lead to his probation. This time, he'll use his fore-knowledge of events to do better, starting with Suzui Shiho. He seeks help of Makoto, the student council president and his love from the year he lived. However he has to keep his situation, and therefore their prior relationship, a secret, lest he attract further attention from the malevolent god that is pulling strings.An NG Ren/Makoto shipfic, posted for Day 1 of ShuMako Week 2020: Study Partners / Confessions.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Niijima Makoto, Kurusu Akira/Niijima Makoto, Niijima Makoto/Persona 5 Protagonist, shumako - Relationship
Comments: 45
Kudos: 123
Collections: ShuMako Week 2020





	What Can't Be Said

He watched as the world became itself once more. The grotesque skeletal outgrowths and sickly red pools dissolved into white embers, carried upward by a gentle breeze.

It was finally over. He slipped his arm around Makoto, hand gripping her shoulder, drawing her closer to him. He needed someone to hang onto. He needed _her_. Everything seemed to wash over him—the joy, the relief, the fatigue, the memories, and...

His confidant, his _friend_ , Morgana was leaving, floating into the sky and losing his form to a scintillating collection of particles as he told them they had the power to shape the world. His last words were not for himself or the dreams he held over the past year, but encouragement and praise directed at all of _them_.

They had succeeded. They had won. His knees felt like they would buckle. Everything felt so heavy. As Morgana ascended further out of reach and out of sight, it felt less like a victory. There was so much he couldn't do, so many he couldn't help. If only...

* * *

The daydream broke.

It was night after all.

Amamiya Ren stared down the streetlight-mottled roads of his hometown. He tried to recall just what he had been doing. Though the area he lived in was quiet and out of the way, spacing out in the middle of the street wasn't a good idea.

The faint sound of an argument caught his attention. The noise seemed to be coming from further along his route home. He picked up his pace, just in case.

The source came into view.

A car.

An office lady.

Shido Masayoshi.

_It can't be._

Ren clutched at his chest, looking down to find a fistful of the raglan he had worn that night, the one he hadn't worn again since.

_No._

_NO._

He let go of his shirt and clenched his fists by his side. For a brief moment he considered bolting, running as far as he could away from all of it. However, that woman needed help. There wasn't time. He closed his eyes tight and grimaced. With a deep breath, he looked up and marched to face his fate once again.

* * *

Ren kept his head down during the ride to the police station. The first time he was too shocked, too confused to see what was going on. This time he knew his eyes would betray his anger. The first time he had pleaded his innocence. This time he knew not to bother.

Shido Masayoshi.

Just saying the name would only get him and his family into more trouble, so he didn't.

Instead, he took inventory of his situation. He was definitely in the past. It had gone on far too long to be a dream. Was this a time leap? Was he to repeat the past year or was he to find another way?

How well did he remember?

* * *

Ren wiped down just enough of the area around his bed to avoid coughing all night. He had forgotten how neglected the attic was when he moved in.

Worse yet, he had forgotten how doubtful of him Sojiro had been when he first arrived.

It hurt much more when it felt like a betrayal, when it felt like rejection from a mentor, a second father.

He pushed the thought aside. It was time to sleep. Tomorrow, everything would once again be in motion.

Laying on the bed, Ren idly deleted the Meta-Nav app.

It was only for show.

His first instinct had been to gather the team as soon as he got to Tokyo, to tell them what had happened and figure out what to do. He had envisioned them storming Shido's Palace, taking out the conspiracy before they could get to Haru's father, before they could get to Sae-san, before Akechi...

His initial view had been too narrow, too focused on the incident that had sparked things in the first place.

Shido wasn't the true enemy. It was _Yaldabaoth_.

The malevolent god was always watching.

Ren couldn't tell the others. He couldn't let Yaldabaoth know. Not yet. Not until he was sure they could win. There was nothing stopping the god from changing the game should he suspect Ren was not following his rules. As they were now, they were no match for a god. They had barely won before. He had to keep the team safe.

That didn't mean he was going to let things go as he had before though. He could do better. Somehow.

There was no one to consult. No one brainstorm with. If he at least had Makoto...

He recalled the long nights sitting at the table he dragged over from storage, trying to perfect their plan to fool Akechi and the rest of the conspiracy. The whole team had been there. Though it had been late November and drafty, it had always felt so warm. The others would head home in groups of two or three. Makoto would always be the last. They traded ideas, suggestions for countermeasures... and when they became tired or gripped by worry, they traded kisses. The feel of her forehead against his own, her warm breath on his face-

Ren shook his head. There was no point. He was just making himself miserable. This was the way things were.

No excuses.

This time he would save Akechi.

This time he would save Okumura-san.

This time, Morgana...

However, before all of that, he knew time was ticking faster for one person. His first order of business: Suzui Shiho.

* * *

"All right! Let's get away before more show up!" Morgana was leading the way out of Kamoshida's dungeons.

"Hold on, we can't just leave these guys here...!" Ryuji stood by one of the cells, a cognition of a Shujin volleyball player on the other side of the bars, face down on the floor, struggling to get up.

Thankfully Ryuji and Morgana were the same as he remembered... accepting of a guy they had just met, treating him like a friend.

The last several months had been so lonely.

Ren squeezed his eyes together several times. He had to focus.

Everything felt cloudy. He had forgotten how much awakening Arsene had taken out of him. He had forgotten how weak his body had been. He couldn't let it stop him though. There was too much he had to do.

"You really don't get it, do you?" Morgana faced the bleached blonde, hands on his hips. "Hrgh... There's no time to explain!"

"Wait," Ren interrupted. He had to move things along faster, investigate further, maybe even awaken Captain Kidd. Suzui only had a few more days at best. "We need to understand what's going on or it will just happen again. If you know something..."

"Yeah, spill it," added Ryuji.

Morgana narrowed his eyes, like he was sizing them up. Then he grinned. "If you insist... but let's find somewhere to hide first."

* * *

"Leave me alone!" Ann was loud enough that everyone still left in the classroom was looking at them.

The whispers followed.

"Wow is he just going to assault another woman on the first day?"

"I don't know, Takamaki seems to know him."

"He's exactly like they said..."

This wasn't going as planned. Ren considered himself pretty charming these days, at least much more than the hot mess he had been the first time around. However, it wasn't enough to get Ann to listen to him, not after he showed up late for school, amid a bevy rumors, with a lie about being ill.

What he was going to do next certainly wasn't going to win him any points. It might even prevent her from ever joining the team.

Maybe that would be for the best.

Either way, he had to take the chance.

He grabbed Ann by her upper arm and leaned in, his mouth by her ear. "Do you really think whatever you and Kamoshida have going, he's not also pulling with the girls' volleyball team?"

She shoved him hard in the chest. On top of overextending himself in the Palace, it was enough that he felt bile creep up his esophagus. When he looked up, she was glowering at him, eyes wide, teeth grit, and nostrils flaring. She spun on her heels, fists balled at her sides, and stalked off.

* * *

Ren walked towards the library. His attempts to find Haru had been as successful as his "talk" with Ann. He'd have to look harder tomorrow. If they could take care of her father's Palace before the conspiracy became aware of them, they might just be able to save him. Maybe it would even coax Futaba out faster too.

They still had time on those fronts though.

On the other hand, seeing Mishima's mangled face in class... how had he taken so long to deal with Kamoshida the first time?

In how many ways was he already too late?

Were Suzui or any of the other girls already...?

He had been powerless at home, under constant supervision and barred from traveling alone until he was sent off to Shujin. The only phone number he knew was Becky's, but she would have freaked out had he so much as mentioned her day job. There was no way she would listen, much less believe him.

At the very least, maybe he could stop it quickly, before it got worse, before Suzui...

He needed to buy some time.

Ren took a deep breath and opened the library door.

There she was, sitting at a table full of books, working out practice problems.

Niijima Makoto.

The woman he loved.

Just seeing her seemed to drain some of the fatigue he had been carrying.

It was short-lived however.

He could tell she was struggling in her own quiet way. The first time, he didn't know her well enough. This time it seemed so obvious to him. It was a slight shift in her posture, indicating her shoulders were tense, a symptom of the anxiety that haunted her. Everything else was kept in check—her effort to meet the conflicting expectations of everyone around her. Trapped in a vicious cycle, the better she performed, the more it drove others away.

There was nothing he wanted to do more than wrap his arms around her, tuck her under his chin, and tell her how much he loved her until she accepted it and relaxed against him. In the space shared by the two of them, there was no need for outside fears.

It was something he longed for, he needed too. That space. That care. That momentary respite from the responsibilities of his fate and the judgement of others.

Even if he couldn't tell her... just _being_ with her-

He had been standing, staring too long.

Ren strolled through the library, running his hands along spines and peeking around shelves and desks. He had to appear to be exploring it for the first time. And... there was something he needed to overhear.

"Well, there's our student council president. Is she reading all those huge complex books to study for college exams? That's really intimidating."

Ren glanced over at Makoto as the students gossiped about her. She reads complicated books and also Sci-fi. She's hard-working. She has the top grades. With those endorsements, it was hard not to notice her. Looking back, his interest in this overheard conversation the first time seemed so innocent. He hadn't realized the seed that was planted right then.

Anyway... he now had what he needed to fool Yaldabaoth.

He walked back to Makoto's table, pulled the chair out closest to her, and sat down. "I hear you're the student council president. I'm Amamiya Ren. I recently transferred here."

"That's right," Makoto looked up at him, lips slightly agape and eyes wide. Of course she'd be surprised someone would enter her space, pass the invisible wall that seemed to surround her. (Gods her eyes were beautiful.) She quickly recomposed, giving him a polite smile. "I'm Niijima Makoto. It's nice to meet you."

Even if it wasn't her true smile, even if it was just a show, it-

"Um, is there something you need?" Makoto tilted her head.

Like eight things he wanted to say all came to his mind at once, leaving him with nothing coherent.

"If you don't need anything, please-"

"There's a problem!" he forced the words out. She hopped in her seat and leaned further from him. He hadn't meant to surprise her again. He scrambled for the next sentences. "Some students are in trouble. Uh... can we talk about this some place private?"

Makoto looked at him, squinting slightly.

He knew this look. She was considering scenarios... but what?

Then he realized.

_She thinks I might be up to something, that I might be dangerous._

Ren swallowed, as if that would suppress the rancid taste in his mouth.

"Let's go to the student council room," she finally replied, an open palm pointing in the direction of the door.

He nodded and waited while she packed up her belongings.

Their walk to the adjacent room was silent but fortunately short. He nearly ran into a bookshelf thinking about how she probably thought him a violent delinquent. After he entered the student council room, she pulled the door in, but did not fully close it, leaving a few centimeters open to the hallway.

The way she walked to the table was balanced and powerful, reminding him of the few times she had taken him to her dojo.

She was on guard.

He would want her to act this way in the face of a threat.

Telling himself that didn't make it feel much better though.

Her martial arts prowess had always been a point of his admiration. He recalled sparring with her. How often he found himself thrown into the mat. He'd play hurt. She'd lower herself to him, running her fingers through his hair so she could plant kisses on he forehead, asking him if it was healing his pride.

It was healing his everything.

"Amamiya-kun?"

He jerked back to attention. Just when had he sat down? Makoto was sitting across the table, perfectly straight, chaired pulled back further than normal.

_She's prepared to be on her feet at the slightest provocation._

"What is it you wanted to say?" Her eyebrows were drawing in. Stern. No-nonsense. He didn't have much time.

"I have reason to believe Mr. Kamoshida is abusing the volleyball team." The Palace. Ryuji's stories. Mishima's wounds. It was more than enough. If only the first time he had... "There's a student in my class who's covered in bruises and I hear people saying things..."

"That's a very serious accusation. Mr. Kamoshida is one of our most well-regarded teachers." She was trying to keep her expression neutral. If he didn't know to look for that way her neck would pulse when she heard something distasteful, he might have thought her unfeeling. She was listening to him.

He had a chance.

"I know I just got here." Even if he couldn't tell her everything, he could at least speak this from his heart. "But I was in a situation like this before, where I waited too long to act though there were signs. I don't want that to happen again."

"I see," her expression softened. She glanced away briefly, like she often did when she was unsure. Looking back at him, she continued. "Thank you for sharing your concerns. I'll take up this matter with Principal Kobayakawa and-"

"Don't." He reached his hand across the table, fingers spread. She drew back. Ren squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore it. He opened them to face her again. "I know how much the volleyball program means to the school. He must know already. He's choosing to turn a blind eye."

Just as Ryuji said he did with the track team.

"Amamiya-kun." Makoto's tone was chastising. "These accusations are piling up. What-"

"I know." He sighed. This was the hardest part. "Sneak into the gym with me. See for yourself."

A gamble.

Makoto was passionate about her duty to the students. She'd rather not bother others when there was something she could do, even if it meant a little danger.

However, she was also bound by rules.

Which would it be?

"Please," he added.

It felt like his heart was echoing loud enough to take over the room. He stared at her, wondering about the calculations she was likely making.

_Please._

She frowned.

"Okay."

* * *

During their walk to the gymnasium, Makoto seemed even more on guard and more nervous. She was several paces in front of him, so they wouldn't appear to be acting together. Several times he noticed her wrapping her arms around herself, practically clawing at the sleeves of her blouse, before realizing what she was doing and assuming a more natural position.

In the past, or perhaps it was the future, they had been fake dating for some time before she truly started opening up to him, trusting him on a deeper level. Of course the present Makoto would be wary now.

Maybe she had caved to his desperation, rather than this being a manifestation of her more reckless and impulsive side. Ren wasn't sure which he preferred.

He caught up to her near the entrance.

"This way." Ren motioned down the hallway.

They couldn't enter the gym proper. Kamoshida would kick them out immediately if he saw them. However, Ren remembered how to get to the catwalks. During the cultural festival, most of the team had watched Akechi's presentation from up there.

As expected, the doors to the maintenance areas were locked. It was nothing a few crudely created tools couldn't fix though. The difficulty was similar to that time the door to Yusuke's shack got stuck. Even with the day's fatigue clinging to him, he was able to pick the lock.

However, he wasn't able to pick it fast.

Makoto was glaring at the keyhole, his fingers, and the bits of metal sticking out. Her focus shifted back up to him, but she didn't say anything.

Thankfully, she didn't walk away.

They stepped carefully along the pathways over the gym. Whatever creaks the catwalks made were fortunately masked by the echoes of Kamoshida shouting commands, teammates calling their shots, tennis shoes screeching across the courts, and volleyballs hitting the floor... and sometimes students.

Makoto noticed it too.

"I-is this _normal_ for volleyball practice?" she was leaning over the railing, eyes fixed on the latest victim of Kamoshida's Olympic-level spike.

"It's not." Ren had his arms crossed. He was leaning against the railing opposite Makoto's.

She turned to him. "We really need to tell the principal."

Ren sighed. "I'm telling you, that-"

The sound of the gym doors opening brought both their attentions back to the floor.

Principal Kobayakawa.

He couldn't have arrived at a better time.

The obese man waddled over to Kamoshida, a fake-looking jovial grin spread across his face as he nudged the coach with his elbow. "How are things progressing? Are we on track for the tournament? A win would be excellent for Shujin."

"We will be," said Kamoshida. He turned to the students, raising his voice with a menacing edge. "As long as everyone works hard and plays their best."

"Splendid!" Kobayakawa headed back to the door, turning to the students and waving his stubby fingers. "Good luck! I expect great things!"

Makoto's grip on the railing seemed to tighten as she watched the principal exit the gym. As the doors swung close, she looked back at Ren. "M-maybe he just didn't-"

If only he had time to let her think through it on her own.

_Sorry Makoto._

"He would see it if he wanted to," Ren pressed. "People believe what they _want_ to believe."

_You wanted to believe life was as easy as trusting authority, as following the rules._

It felt wrong using what he knew from having previously lived the year, like he was manipulating her. He didn't want their relationship to be founded on that, but it wasn't so easy to separate what was his naturally gained conception of her from what he shouldn't know. It would be dangerous to overcompensate. There was too much at stake. "You work with him right? Has he always been fair with you?"

Makoto opened her mouth but nothing came out. Her head tilted downward as her jaw shut while her hand slipped off the railing, finding its way to her chest. "Maybe not..."

They stood in silence until they were interrupted by a scream of pain rising above the normal volleyball din.

Kamoshida's latest victim.

"Get it together Otsuka! You've been sloppy!"

"Why do they put up with this?" Makoto was once again at the railing, watching Kamoshida chew out the floored player. "Surely someone would tell their parents."

"Some of them think volleyball is all they have." Ren remembered Ann telling him Suzui had said something like that. "So they convince themselves it's normal and internalize it as their own failing. They see the others around them treat it as normal. They want to fit in. They're afraid of losing what they have."

"Well I'm going to tell my sister," Makoto stood up straight. She got out her phone, pointing the camera at the gym floor. "She's a prosecutor. They can start an investigation."

"Can she make a case if none of the victims will talk?" Ren already knew the answer. "Kamoshida knows how to put on a show for outsiders and even if you can make out anything in that video, they'll claim these are all accidents, natural in competitive sports."

"My sister is sharp," Makoto's lips were pressed together. Her eyes seemed to pierce through him. "She'll come up with something."

_Assuming she's not distorted._

Ren didn't know Sae-san's state of mind this early in the school year and even if she did take the case it would be near impossible to act fast enough for Suzui. But maybe...

"I hope so," Ren took a deep breath through his nose and then lifted his arm, pointing down to the courts. "But until then, this is going to continue."

Makoto crossed her arms over herself and looked away. "I don't like it either."

"Then protect them." He kept his voice calm and soft, sorry for asking this of her, making it her responsibility. However, they would figure it out together. She wouldn't be alone.

"Me?" Large eyes stared back at him. "But how?"

"Kamoshida knows how to put on a show for outsiders, so make sure there are always outsiders," he explained. "It's a big important tournament, something the school wants to highlight, right? Have the student council organize even more events around it. Bring groups of students who can't make the real games to cheer at practices. Encourage the newspaper club to write articles. Keep him occupied after practice too so the students can go home before he asks for more. If it's all framed to stroke his ego, he'll probably allow it."

_And hopefully be less likely to take out his anger on others..._

"Hmmm," Makoto brought her hand to her chin, eyes shifting back and forth, likely coming up with even more possibilities. "I see... we might be able to prevent the abuse until the authorities can take action."

_Probably not that long... but long enough for the Phantom Thieves..._

"This is why I came to you," he smiled. He took a step forward and lifted his hands, wanting to place them on her shoulders, but caught himself. Just because she was distracted with helping others didn't mean she wasn't still suspicious of him after all. It was a fragile alliance they were forming. "Will you do it?"

"I'll try my best," she responded with a pert nod. "We can start with a student council walkthrough tomorrow. We'll speak with him afterwards regarding further promotional plans. Maybe we can schedule other teams to observe his winning methods... Principal Kobayakawa might even get behind that."

As he expected, Makoto would be quick to come up with more ideas and improve upon the plan. This just might buy him the time he needed. It was the first win he'd had all afternoon. He wanted to pick her up, spin her around... but they weren't there yet. Instead, he just needed to make sure she didn't put herself in danger.

"Just make sure there are always multiple people there, even after practice," said Ren. "The more people, the better his behavior."

* * *

"Ugh... The hell is this room?" Ryuji voiced what the entire team was thinking as they stood at the entryway to the hidden room in the library of Kamoshida's Palace. "There's tons of pictures of Suzui in here!"

They were too late.

It was like being punched in the gut and then having the wound suck itself into his stomach, knot, and writhe.

He had seen Suzui earlier that day. She hadn't _seemed_ particularly distraught... but who knew how long she had been hiding it? At least he had been checking the locks on the doors to the roof as often as he could. Maybe-

"Wait... there's a bunch of Ann too!"

Ren looked up. Indeed, there were pictures of both of them. A handful of pictures of other girls too. What did it mean?

A small whimper escaped Ann's lips.

He was still unsure whether it was good fortune or bad that she had followed him into the Palace, still riled from their altercation the day before. Her persona freshly awakened, she was barely keeping up, and now to see this...

Maybe trying to finish the Palace in a day was unreasonable. All the medicines and supplies he could buy didn't make up for the fact that he wasn't strong enough yet. He couldn't further risk the team.

Ren closed his eyes and prayed Makoto could delay Kamoshida a little longer.

* * *

The day after they stole the treasure, Kamoshida put himself on suspension, just like before. After a few days, when it became clear he wasn't coming back, the school became abuzz in rumors. The students had not forgotten the bulletin board full of calling cards spelling out his name. Ren had considered breaking into Kamoshida's office to leave the card, thereby throwing off the conspiracy a little longer, but building public support was more important to ultimately stop Yaldabaoth and for that he needed Mishima.

If only the timid volleyball player covered in bruises could know just how important he truly was.

Ren glanced out the windows of the second year hallway, looking down into the courtyard where Ann and Suzui were sitting. Like many of the volleyball players, Suzui seemed distressed. The tournament was still on, but they had no coach to lead them.

Didn't they feel relieved not to have to face Kamoshida's "training"? Did they just not recognize it yet?

Hopefully, with time-

"It seems Mr. Kamoshida requested he be suspended indefinitely." Makoto was standing next to him, peering out the window in the same direction he was. When had she arrived? Was his awareness that dull when he first arrived at Shujin or was it that having her near him just felt right?

"I heard," he managed, affecting a shallow cough into his hand.

"I wonder why..." she was still looking down at Suzui and Ann.

Did she suspect him? Of course she'd be suspicious, given all that had happened, given the timing...

What would she think of him when the confession came?

Makoto seemed that much further away.

"Maybe that weird call out the other day, along with the attention from all those interviews and observations you scheduled, caused him to reflect on what he's doing." It was all he could say.

"Maybe... I mean, it's a good thing," Makoto's gaze fell, like she really wasn't looking at anything at all. "To be honest, I don't think my sister was going to get to it any time soon. She seemed to think it was just teenagers complaining about having to work hard..."

Makoto's lower lip was jutting out a hair further than normal.

So, Sae-san was already...

Like him, Makoto was alone.

He wanted to put his arm around her, pull her by his side and tell her he understood. However, the Amamiya Ren now couldn't do that. She wouldn't accept him and he wasn't supposed to know.

"At least it's stopped," he offered. "Maybe for good."

"I hope so," she replied, placing the tips of her fingers on the glass as she raised her head to peer back into the courtyard. "The volleyball team seems pretty upset. Did we do the right thing?"

"We did." Ren squeezed his right hand in a fist by his side. This he knew for sure. There was so much more about Kamoshida the school didn't yet know. He took a deep breath. "Remember what I said about convincing themselves the abuse was normal? They just need some time... and maybe some help."

Makoto made a loose ball with her other hand, bringing it up to her lips. "Is there something we can do?"

Ren had just been pondering the same thing. He was at as much of a loss as she was. "Maybe the student council can promote counseling services? Encourage the students to support the team?"

"Maybe..." Makoto finally turned her head to face him. She dropped both of her hands, her finger tips sliding down the window. "Despite being student council president, I'm actually not very good at those kinds of things. I... I don't think students appreciate my advice. It's funny... I don't really know much about the student body."

_How nostalgic..._

A chance.

Maybe together, they _could_ do something.

...but it really wasn't about that.

As much as Ren knew things would change once Kamoshida actually confessed, as much as he knew he needed to be focused on Okumura moving forward, as much as he knew she was not the Makoto who loved him and there was no guarantee she ever would be, he wanted to be with her.

As much as he knew using his knowledge of the future might not be fair to her...

"Well I just got here," he shrugged, forcing a playful laugh. "I don't really know much about them either."

"Oh?" she glanced at the window again. "You already knew about the volleyball team, and you seem to be close with a few of their members."

"But it's only that," he waited for her to turn back to him. "I haven't lived in a city like this before. There's so much I don't know... like what students do after school. I have a lot to learn."

_What I'm doing is probably wrong..._

"I'm the same," a soft pink blush was spreading on her cheeks.

_But when you look at me like that..._

If only he could tell her everything, how he truly felt.

"Then why don't we explore it together?" he smiled, not only at her but at the memories of her she represented. "You know the city and it won't be as daunting if we're not alone."

It was just a little push. He had to be mindful of Makoto's pace.

So few others were.

"That makes sense..." Makoto once again brought her hand to her chin, like she was mulling over the idea. She looked up at him, her polite smile carrying more warmth than before. "Please take good care of me. I too have a lot to learn."

A smile came to Ren's face as well, but it was bittersweet. It was hard to see her and not want more, not want to reach out to her and find the person and the bond he remembered. It was too soon though. Too delicate.

The feelings he couldn't reveal to her.

The confession he couldn't make.

For now, all he could do was tell her in a way only he would understand. "I'll be your study partner."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Like [Half a Dream](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16066784), this is one of those ideas I've had bouncing around for a while, but avoided because I'm hesitant to start another year-long multi-chapter fic. I finally managed to put many those ideas into this one-shot. 
> 
> Maybe some day I'll do another in this universe.
> 
> This is also my longest one shot so far, so it's been quite an experiment. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> I won't be participating much further this week. Changes in my work responsibilities along with some family stuff have me more brutally prioritizing my creative efforts towards the things I most want to create. It's been especially hectic these past few months due to several unexpected challenges arising. I'm a little sad I couldn't do more, but I am happy that I'm doing right by my loved ones and the kind and hard-working people who depend on me. When I see them thrive, I feel confident that I'm prioritizing what's important.
> 
> Thanks to [Zinzanzelf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinzanzelf/pseuds/Zinzanzelf) for pointing out a typo, now fixed!


End file.
